The stark reality is that you teach people how to treat you. The moment you step outside of your house you tell people "this is how you should treat me" by what you wear, how you talk and your personal mannerisms. People meet you or they see you and then they walk away with a perception of who you are, or in some cases a real sense as to who you are.
Does one really know who they are? Can you sum up in just a few words who you are and what you stand for, given that each moment of each day brings with it something different and that different moment calls for a different you. It is tough to get a feel for who you really are.
Since I have been in Ghana I have really been teaching people how to treat me. The fact that I am much lighter than everyone else really makes this more of the case. I am light and they are dark. When I go out I get looks, double takes and everything. At first the attention was kinda flattering but always being seen as different even when you are doing all that you can to fit it really becomes rather disconcerting. When I go and try to buy something I get a much higher price, when I walk down the street people stop and look. And even when I am speaking the language I get a laugh first and then they think its cute.
On the other hand, I am lighter, I can actually pay more than the average Ghanaian for items and no one would ever expect me to speak the language, so what really is so disconcerting about the truth? I guess it is because I feel like sense I am an African American I would generally fit in more. I have found that this would be the case if I were a little darker. For one split second today I actually wished I were darker. I don't say this because it is a taboo thing or a desired commodity, but because I actually would not mind seeing how things would change if I were a darker American in Ghana. Would I get away with things a bit more? Would the starring stop? I dunno its hard to say, because when I open my mouth, they would tell.
Have you ever wished you were darker? I know some people have the "I wish I was lighter complex" but not so much the other way around.
On the other hand of all of that, I find myself becoming more and more Ghanaian every day. I take my time a bit more, I don't get bent out of shape for things I cannot control, I have the urge to argue with people a bit more, and I actually have now began starring at White people in Ghana. Yes folks, I am contributing to the weird stares that white people get in Ghana. I know it sounds funny but I caught myself starring at some Canadians that were walking along side the road. I actually said to myself, " what are you doing? " " Why are you starring?" I know it sounds funny but when you stay in an environment for so long you really begin to take on some of the mannerisms.
The other thing is that I have actually wanted to argue with people a bit more. Ghanaians love to argue. Oh My do they love keeping up some mess even when it is most unnecessary. For instance, I was in a tro tro. The guy in the back said something about a young woman on the street who had a child in her hands. Another guy in the back of the tro tro chastised the guy saying why would he even care. So those guys got into it. Meanwhile, another guy in the front started arguing with the second guy for poking his nose into the first guys business asking why was it any of his business what the guy said. Then the bus driver got into it with the two guys and said he would put them off. Instantly, they both turned on the driver saying that he was being foul. Then the tro tro mate (the guy who collects the money) gets into it with the two guys. All of a sudden a lady tells the guys to relax and they start on her. Whew! yeah it was that much in just one argument over one guy saying something like, why is she carrying her child like that. I mean it was frivolous at its core, yet it was still a very real argument.
Another example is when I went to the soccer game. A group of guys go down to the gate to the field and begin arguing with the security guy at the gate asking why they could not get by. He told them they had no business on the field, and they insulted him. That went on for 10 min and then a new group of guys came down and did that same thing. By the end, about four groups of guys had been arguing with that one guy. And at one point the guy let one of the guys in the group in and then the ones who did not get in began insulting the guard even more. And when the guy got past the gate, he paid no mind to his friends who did not get in. LOL. So funny. But you know, sometimes I see the same trait in us African Americans. We are a bit aggressive when it comes to many things. But hey, you gotta be tough or you will get got easily. Especially in Ghana.
Another stark reality is how the police take money from people. Bribes are heavy when traveling. The police will actually create a road block and stop each car passing by to check for their materials. The driver will also hand the guy 1 cidi to let him by. Or else the cop would keep the guy a long time and put him through unnecessary trouble because he did not give him the small small that he had been looking for. They cannot stop a diplomatic car but yet even when we pull up behind another car they will ask us to go around and still take small small from the driver. The reality is that police don't get paid enough in Ghana. Come to think of it most people don't get paid well. The waiter at the restaurant in Tamale told me about his life. He said that he gets 40 Ghana Cidi a month. He lives with his grandmother and his little brother in town, who do not work. His 40 cidi a month has to pay rent, water, electricity, school fees, and food for the house. The rent et al is 20 and then the school fees are like 4 and then food is like another 10-15. So how much does this guy really have left at the end of the day. And we thought living pay check to pay check at home was so bad. I mean it is, but comparatively not at all. To stay at the hotel a night costs about 90 Ghana Cidis. Just over two months worth of pay for him, just to stay in the hotel 1 night. The reality is tough to bear, but people live off one 2 cidi a day.
Those are just a few stark realities that I have been on my mind lately. I am headed back to Accra and will be back in the office on Thursday. What a great trip. I actually got a smock ( a traditional garb worn predominately in the north). I don't know when I would wear it but we will see, its kinda something nice to have laying around for when an opportunity arises.
Stay tuned for more is always to come.....
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oh man, you really did well for all what you typed. i think you really so the negative attitude of the Ghanaian pollice that we are all suffering from. even if they are not paid well but they should also know that the driver with whom they have being taking the 1 cidi 1 cide from is also a victim of a random work archiever, it may be possible that a taxi will roam all over withoug getting something, yet the money he used in buying patrol is not out, not to even talk of his chop money nor the savings, and now you have blocked the person to get one cedi from him when he is also running on dept.
ReplyDeleteis really not fair about the Ghanaian police. with tthat one is a facti and i always observe it.